Lather, Rinse, Repeat

Thanks to Seattle's insightful posts on the crop of (obtuse) interviewees wasting lobby space, I decided to take a moment and think about what the hell I really do all day.

PR. Um, yeah, not a change the world type of job, but it's important to a lot of companies, especially for those that I work for. Considering their marketing dollars are pretty tight, some of them go as far as to demand PR to directly increase sales (which, yes, is a tangential result of the job, but should never be the primary purpose). But, essentially they rely on us to help them stand out against the other five million tech start ups to compete with the proverbial 900 pound gorillas out there.

At most times it's pretty basic, and to be honest it's a boring and predictable cycle of the same thing over and over again. There's a distinct cycle of events for every specific activity we do to build up a lot of buzz and drama about something - anything - to garner coverage. Sometimes it's for a trade show event, funding news, press and analyst tour, or my personal favorite (insert sarcasm)...the "Thought Leadership" campaign.

Here's the basic cycle of events for a typical product announcement:

1. Client wants coverage

2. Client has no new product to announce

3. PR Team brainstorms and suggests to announce a "new" version of product because they added a cool new GUI (i.e., version 2 dot and a half of "leading systems management solution")

4. PR Team drafts press release and Client scrapes bottom of barrel for a customer

5. PR Team begs and/or pitches media and analysts for a briefing

6. Client complains why CNET, Forbes, and WSJ don't realize they are "the most innovative technology out there" and how they are "the ONLY one" to do what they do (PR Team nods head in agreement to appease Client)

7. Miraculously, PR Team books Network World, eWeek and IDG amongst others

8. Predictably, Client can't provide a customer that will speak to the media

9. Somehow "amazing" coverage appears and PR Team sends each and every snippet of an article or pick-up

10. Client complains that the reporter referred to them as the VP of business development instead of VP of products

-Signing off from San Francisco