You remember how to breathe... how?

There are groups of people in the workplace that everyone has, or will, come across. So far, San Francisco and I have written about the Eager Entitled Beaver (painfully young new hires who think the world of themselves) and the Power Rangers (folks who think their titles give them the right to act like they're beyond human).

There's another group that exists that baffles the hell out of me- the Incompetents.

The biggest compliment anyone can give you, in any job setting, is that you get it.

It.

The mystical It encompasses many things. You understand your industry, you learn by paying attention, asking questions and from your mistakes (and other people's mistakes) and you have a big, fat dose of Common Sense. The last is the most important and thus deserves capital letters.

I am quickly learning that Common Sense is not as common as the phrase might make it seem. Working with certain people have highlighted this to me in screaming orange ink with a neon green underline.

There's so much I could say in this post about the incompetence of some people but really, that could get me fired, no? I won't repeat tales told to me about such people in confused, yet infuriated, whispers. Because such people are confusing and... infuriating... and the rest of us can only talk about them through whispers because the extent of their incompetence leaves us nearly speechless.

The rest of us, the ones who were clearly in line the day the Great Almighty handed out the wondrous gift of Common Sense, all know the secret handshakes that come with having to work with an Incompetent. You know them- I bet you've done them before and shared them with colleagues:

-The eye roll of impatience
-The open mouth of speechlessness
-The stunned, quick blinking of disbelief
-The almost reflexive clenching of the hand
-The deep sigh of (mental) pain

There are more handshakes, I am sure, but I think these are the most common.

Now the group is made up of people who are generally smart people (they've made it up to this point without getting run over by a bus, in any case) but for some reason, just can't seem to get their shit together.

They drop the ball on projects, they forget to ask simple but important questions, they can't seem to learn from their environment. They don't listen or they forget things they've been asked to do. They don't take notes- or if they do, they're either bad notes or they lose them. They can't seem to create systems that help them succeed. They don't see the big picture (which doesn't make sense because they don't seem to notice the details, either).

They are missing that mysterious It factor that I wrote about earlier. Sure, they can write sentences and answer the phone. They sure as hell can nod. They can do basic office work. But making mental leaps of deduction, looking forward and planning ahead... skills like that seem to evade them.

So my dear colleagues, those of you with whom I've shared a 'handshake' with, please be patient and take heart. We'll cheer ourselves over a glass of wine or pint of beer during Happy Hour today, tomorrow, and all the days after. If anything, working with Incompetents always makes for good stories to tell and hear.

(If you think I'm a bitch by saying all this, chew on this- remember that last meeting you missed? Yeah, the one you missed because you didn't listen or you forgot to write it down?...)

-Signing off in Seattle