Dear reporter (who I wish I could name but can't because I want to stay employed),
I used to think you were cool. Seriously- not a lot of people get the 'cool' label in my book because in my line of work, not a lot of them seem human.
Yeah, I thought you were cool.
That is until you stood me and my client up for a briefing.
I asked you what time you would be available for this briefing. I ASKED YOU and then, even when I realized that I would have to get my ass up out of bed at 5:30am to be in the office by 6:30am to gear up for the call at 7am, I was fine with it.
My client, who lives and works on the other side of the planet, put this call on her schedule. I told you that it was nearly midnight her time so you knew. You knew what a pain in the ass it was going to be for the both of us to make this call.
So when you tell me, after the call time, after my client and I hang around and wait for you to dial in to the conference line I cleared for use, that you were "running late to the office" and missed the call- don't expect me to be all sunshine and giggles, okay?
First of all, who the hell strolls into the office at 10:00 am? That's not just running late, buddy. That's "Oh my God, I'm going to have diarhhea, I'm so effing late to work that it's not even funny, not even The Office would make an effing parody of this" late.
Also, I scheduled this briefing on Monday. Today is Wednesday. I don't know if you can do math, but that means you had two days to casually look at your calendar and realize that you had a call at 10am.
Maybe you were having a bad night last night and simply hit the snooze button one too many times this morning. Maybe you accidentally poked your eye out with a spork and had to run to the emergency room with the spork still embedded in the now empty socket that used to be occupied by your eyeball?
I don't care. You still suck.
This post would be much more eloquent and witty if I wasn't so goddamn TIRED AND SLEEPY.
Sincerely,
I want my frikin product back, you inconsiderate jerk.
P.S. Oh yeah, I saw your MySpace page. It sucks.
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1 comment:
You know, I'm starting to tire of reporters treating PR people like the skeezy ex-girlfriend they only keep around for booty calls. You dont hear from them for weeks, despite multiple attempts to call or email them. Then all of a sudden, when they need some action, your phone lights up. They want you to fulfill their needs right now and as soon as you do, they go off into the abyss until the next time the get horny...er, wait...I mean, have to write a story.
- sof Seattle's company in misery
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