Two words I hate most in my line of work: Relationship-building. (Connected by a hyphen, does that make it one word? Discuss.)
When I'm on tour, all I want to do at the end of the day is crawl into the dank, possibly STD-ridden cave I call a hotel room and jump into bed, hoping for sweet Death to come visit me during sleep and take me on a magical trip to his kingdom. I'm betting it's better than Disneyland - it most certainly is happier, anyway.
The last thing I want to do after spending the day babysitting clients and nodding and smiling at reporters is to hang out with either party. Freels y'all, you do not pay me enough to enjoy watching you eat or get liquored up. I don't care if the tab is on you, I would much rather sit in the dark. Without my iPod.
Thankfully, my clients are good people. Nice, sweet and smart. But still- I'd prefer the silence of my hotel room to one. More. Story. About. Your Children.
So here's something to consider the next time you're in a strange city with a PR handler- be you media or client: We're human. Just because we smile a lot and stroke your ego, does not mean we're thinking nice thoughts about you. And it does not mean you're paying for my time outside of work-related activities.
We have a relationship- it does not need anymore "building". The relationship is this: You pay me, and I will work for you, from 8:00-6:00 PM. We are not friends. When I leave my current job, I will remember you fondly but I will not call you to have coffee or hang out on a Saturday afternoon. It may happen that we become actual friends, in the true sense of the word, but I doubt our "relationship" will move beyond the "Another contact to add in Linkedin" phase.
If we all understand this, the world will be a better place. And I will be less inclined to want to shoot myself after each day on tour.
-Signing off from Seattle (while on tour)
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