Poppin' the blog cherry

Hm, what to write about on this dreary Tuesday in Seattle? What topic could be worthy enough, special enough, for the inaugural post of the Bishop blog?

Oh, I know.

Bathroom etiquette in the ladies room.

Now we all know the etiquette for the men's bathroom. You know, no looking down. Because, uh, that's weird and creepy. And you could get your ass kicked if you do. But hardly anyone talks about what constitutes as good manners for this day and age for women in the bathroom.

Seriously though, it's not thinking on par with brain surgery.

It's not even GED level thinking.

So here it is, some general guidelines for a public women's bathroom:

-Do not leave pee on the toilet seat. Uh... EW. There are toilet guards available in most stalls if you don't want to sit down on the ceramic throne, okay? How hard can it be, how much time does it take, to pull up and pull down? The answer: not much effort or time are needed for either.

If you don't use toilet guards and prefer the tippy-toe and squat method, for the love of all that is holy and good in the world, wipe off the toilet bowl, you dirty, nasty freak.

-Flush after you are finished. The bathroom is used for many naturally occuring events. I'm sure everyone knows what bodily functions Number 1 and Number 2 stand for, right? Number 1 happens most frequently throughout the day and Number 2, well, not as frequently. But when it does happen, common courtesy dictates one thing.

Just one.

Flush when you are done.

Again I ask, how hard can it be to push the little lever down? It takes a second to do so and it prevents the poor, unfortunate victim who happens to walk in next from gagging- or worse. To quote Nike, 'Just Do It.'

-You can not claim a stall. If you walk out of it, it is no longer yours.

I worked on a floor where the bathroom was shared between two companies. There was one woman from the other company who would act as if one stall belonged to her. She had a strange habit of walking into one stall, taking toilet paper, walking out to the sinks and then wetting it under the faucet.

The crazy thing is, whatever stall she took the toilet paper from, she'd claim. No kidding. She actually asked a friend of mine to get out of the stall so she could use it.

-Talking on your mobile in the bathroom is rude... and fucking annoying to those of us who are trying to use the bathroom in peace. I'm pretty sure the person on the other line wouldn't appreciate the echo.

Seriously, you don't want the person on the other end to ask, "Is that the sound of someone... peeing?"

-Wash your hands. The general rule of thumb is you should wash your hands with soap and warm water for two rounds of 'Happy Birthday' but one 'Happy Birthday' should suffice, especially if you're in a hurry.

But I'd prefer a quick 'La la la' to no handwashing at all.

So in conclusion- don't leave pee on the toilet seat, flush, don't be a snot about your stall and wash your dirty, dirty hands before you walk out of the bathroom.

-Signing off from Seattle